It’s ironic and (admittedly) a bit cliché. The more “social” we are, the less truly social we are.
PHUBBING: The act of snubbing someone in a social setting by looking at your mobile device instead of paying attention.
Don’t get me wrong. I love technology innovation. It is my background. I am a bona fide device junkie. But when tinkering around on the phone replaces meaningful, face-to-face engagement, you have to wonder: Aren’t we edging toward obsessive?
You see it in the number of “bowed heads” at gatherings—as people intently scroll through update streams, Instagram selfies and weigh-in with likes. At restaurants and dinner parties, smartphones dot the tables. Networkers struggle to maintain eye contact with one another as their phones vibrate with notifications. The divide between the truly social and the willfully disengaged is growing.
Phubbing is rampant.
Hardly a day passes without experiencing or hearing about phubbing. It disrupts dinners out with long-time friends, disturbs bridge games among retirees and annoys everyone around the offender at arts events. It replaces humorous banter, healthy debate and traditional camaraderie with awkward pauses and uncomfortable transitions back to the topic at hand (what were you saying?).
The cost of indulging in these distractions is higher than you might think. Citing research from Intel, Emily Post reports that 80 percent of survey respondents are annoyed when they see others inappropriately using their smartphones in public and social situations.
Even tech-focused media outlets like Fast Company suggest that habitual “dillydallying” on social networks is addictive behavior. The magazine likened it to “an endless supply of Cheetos.” Constantly connecting is a way of “tuning out” by over-stimulating the mind. You’re viewing updates, emails and photos, but you’re not really thinking.
Isn’t there something to be said for being present in your life? Lingering in the moment? From an Ayurvedic standpoint, face-to-face social interaction is connected with health-related benefits like enhancing your mood, alleviating depression and reducing stress—to name a few. More importantly, it’s just plain polite.
Here are a few helpful suggestions for keeping your digital socializing in-check:
- Put your device into airplane mode when you’re with others. Better yet, check in at your destination and then leave your smartphone in the car.
- If a loud alert creates an awkward social moment, offer a quick apology before silencing and stashing it. Don’t intensify the situation by reading and answering the text or email.
- If you must have your smartphone at your side, excuse yourself before checking it. Don’t forget to also get up and walk away from the table. This assures that your companions are not phubbed, and it helps you to bring consciousness to your actions.
- Just for kicks, propose a device-free gathering with friends. Re-experience the things that brought you all together in the first place. This line of thought also works for family time by declaring rooms, such as the dining area, off limits to devices.
- Get conscious about the impact of an “always on” world. This will provide motivation to scale-back your smartphone use. A little awareness goes a long way!
Enjoy the moment by being part of it. Time with family and friends is sacred. Commit to NOT being a phubber!
Have you been phubbed lately? Do share the details!
